i've been thinking a lot about what my life is going to be like in a year. though i don't know for sure, chances are good that we'll be looking at moving back to the mid-west. we'll have been in dallas for almost four years -- longest we've lived in one home since we were married and the longest i'll have lived in any city since i graduated high school.
if i'm honest, i don't want to leave. we've invested in our friendships here for three years now. this next year, i'm going to have the opportunity to spend even more time with some of the moms my age (with kids near luke's age). i'm going to be able to pour into these friendships with even more intentionality and then we're probably going to leave. doesn't sound fun to me.
and, if i'm honest again, the odds are that we won't keep in touch very well with many of our dfw friends. that's just life. sure, there are a few families we will hear from and exchange christmas cards with and share comments on blogs and email. we might even vist them -- or they might visit us. but really, there isn't much to bring us back to the metroplex (aside from suzanne's graduation). it's not hard for me to think about being far from family because they will always be in our life. it is hard to think about leaving new friends.
pouring my heart into relationships only to leave them a year later sounds painful. shannon and i went to a session at the retreat yesterday where we had the chance to "get to know" the wives of our three newest pastors. it was fun to hear them share about their families, but what hit me most was when martha shared about what it was like for her young family to move across the country after her husband finished seminary thirty-odd years ago.
she shared this verse:
jesus said, "truly i say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or farms, for my sake and for the gospel's sake but that he will receive a hundred times as much now in the present age . . . " (mark 9:29-30)
that doesn't make leaving easier but it is an encouragement to me to remember that God knows. he knows that leaving it tough. and, he promises to take care of me.
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3 comments:
Ok, you are making me sad now! You must stay and never go! Hope I make the list of people you stay in touch with :)
Thanks, Katherine. I definitely understand what kind of feelings those are, and it helps to know others are thinking about those things too. It's hard to start over, to learn about new people and watch as old friends grow more distant. Sometimes change is hard, but there are ALWAYS blessings around the corner. God knows your needs and my needs, especially as women, for deep fellowship and friendship with other women, and He will provide. That's what I am praying for even now! So take heart and follow in obedience, knowing that He will take care of your heart along the way.
I had tears running down my face as I read this. The thought of not having you guys to just chat with breaks my heart. I want to make this next year count...and maybe you'll decide that somewhere right between here and home is a good place to settle down.
Either way, you and your family have changed our lives for the better.
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