how i met your father: our love story, part vi

i like the button, so i'm still going to use it, even though it's not october any longer. to catch up on our story, read these posts:

part i
part ii
part iii
part iv
part v

to say our interaction became tense would be an extreme understatement. we avoided each other at all costs – not difficult during the school year, but more challenging when we were both home at our small church. we were both really hurt and frustrated. i was upset because michael didn’t communicate his intentions clearly, but then expected me to be upfront and honest about how i felt about him. and, just disappointed that i’d invested so much into a relationship that was over so suddenly.

i wouldn’t have said it at the time, but i still cared a lot for michael.

i spent a lot of time that year, my junior year, uncharacteristically alone. i was an r.a. and lived in a dorm across campus from most of my friends. as an r.a., i had to be “on duty” on a weekly basis and then twice a semester for an entire weekend (suicide weekends, we called them). i had a lot of time to think and write and process. i invested in my relationship with my family and was mentored by esther, the wife of a chemistry teacher on campus.

my heart began to heal and when the summer rolled around again, i headed back to colorado.

somehow, before i left for the summer, michael and i began to inch toward a friendship again. i don’t remember hanging out, but when i heard he’d be spending the summer in colorado springs, where i often visited my childhood friend, we decided to have dinner together at some point.

when michael finally called me, he invited me to have dinner with him at the navigator’s beautiful castle where he was working for the summer. after dinner, we hiked up a ridge and watched the sunset. incredibly romantic, if we’d been dating.

but, as we talked, we just couldn’t see eye to eye. on anything, it seemed. we got along, but couldn’t seem to understand each other. he was making decisions that i didn’t understand and seemed counter-intuitive to me. i drove two hours through the mountains that night thinking, well, that was nice, but i’m sure glad we’re not dating anymore.

after i came home, though, and launched into my senior year, i realized i still liked michael. a lot, actually. i talked a lot about him to my three roommates. we slowly started emailing again. he was on my mind often. but, i still thought it would never work out.

and then one saturday morning, my roommate mandy interrupted my late-morning shower with a squeal. a guy just stopped by looking for you, she said. i think it was michael!